August 25, 2019

Settled at last: Britain’s favourite biscuit revealed

Chocolate digestive biscuitsIt was a close-run thing, but chocolate digestive biscuits have retaken their deserved place as Britain’s favourite biscuit in the country’s places of work.

Office workers, builders, shop staff and public sector workers all agree that these – and not recent interlopers the Chocolate Hob Nob – are the best biscuit for dunking in their tea or coffee, a national workplace law consultancy has found.

In its survey of over 6,000 people, Yorkshire-based Protecting.co.uk found a wide range of opinions on this nationally important matter, but that there could only be one winner.

“Given the choice, it looks like the chocolate digestive is Britain’s favourite dunker,” says Protecting.co.uk spokesperson, Mark Hall, “And that’s reassuring to know in these times troubled by economic and political uncertainty.”

In its phone poll carried out in October, 6102 people were asked the simple question: “What’s your favourite biscuit for your workplace tea break?” – and the top ten were:

  1. Chocolate Digestive
  2. Chocolate Hob Nob
  3. Custard Cream
  4. Bourbon
  5. Rich Tea
  6. Chocolate Chip
  7. Malted Milk
  8. Ginger Nut
  9. Shortbread
  10. Jammie Dodgers

While the list may prove controversial, Protecting.co.uk stands by its scientifically-proven and expertly tallied results. “Any other surveys are wrong and should be ignored immediately,” the company warns. “This issue has been solved for once and for all.”

Analysis: A biscuit expert writes

The first things you’ll notice is that the plain old digestive has plummeted out of the top ten, while chocolate biscuits betray the nations’ sweet tooth, Protecting says.

“That is because – in our humble opinion – workplaces cut corners on their biscuit budgets and it’s in the digestive that you notice that cheapness the most,” says Mark Hall.

“Nobody likes to dip cardboard into their cuppa, but that’s what you get with an off-brand digestive. The Great British Bake Off has spoiled us as a nation in this respect, we feel.”

Slashed tea break budgets are one of those little issues that really annoy workers, Protecting.co.uk says. “Our own research shows that employees genuinely dislike these cuts which only save a few pounds per year, but workers find petty and vindictive.

“Tea breaks are important and a strong source of morale. Fiddle around with people’s biscuits, and you soon get a disgruntled workplace.”

Jaffa Cake controversy

The chocolate digestive’s victory was by no means clear cut. Less than 20 votes separated it from its Hob Nob rival, but these two were well ahead of the rest of the field.

“You have to feel sorry for the Nice biscuit,” Mr Hall says. “Only one person out of 2,000 people said it was their favourite. What a fall from grace.”

The survey was not without its problems after one of the vote’s also-rans was struck from the running for technical reasons:

“We took the controversial decision to disallow the Jaffa Cake,” says Hall, “Its status as either a biscuit or a cake is up in the air after June’s Brexit vote, and we’re expecting a firm ruling one way or the other some time in the next five years.”

But one thing’s clear: The tea break and biscuit are a central part of the day for many workers in Britain.

“Mess with that and you’re asking for trouble,” Mr Hall says.